It is natural for managers to be difficult with their subordinates. Here is how to handle this tactfully
Recently, a senior executive from a large corporation was pointing out the pains of working with a highly egoistic boss. She said, "Since I am performing well and have been noticed by other seniors, my direct boss seems to be threatened by me. He controls everything and doesn't part with pertinent information without difficulty. Nothing I do these days is right for him."
It gets harder to work with someone who is suspicious, distrustful, and difficult to please. Professional life can be made miserable by an insecure or self-absorbed superior.
In day-to-day functioning, it is stifling to be directed by a leader, who is easily threatened. Many CEOs complain about how lack of self-confidence in a supervisor ruins team spirit and erodes organisational culture, not to mention jeopardising productivity.
How many times have you felt that your bosses' weaknesses and gaps have directly impacted you? What manifestations of your supervisor's low self-confidence do you deal with regularly? Do the following ring a bell?
1. Continuous discouragement of your initiatives and very little appreciation of your work.
2. Year on year lame excuses for lack of promotion or low bonus.
3. Public mockery of your ideas, but private appreciation of your abilities.
4. Rejecting your input only to later represent them as his/her idea.
5. Constantly reminding you of your shortcomings and slip-ups.
6. Denying you of the more challenging assignments without giving you the benefit of doubt.
Of course, these are generalised stereotypes and every trait need not necessarily imply a boss lacking in self-esteem or considering you as a potential threat! There should be several other indications to conclude that your manager is sceptically watching you.
1. Diagnose, don't overread -
It is essential not to get carried away by a rebuke or debate and term it "conspiratorial". Make sure you detect whether the hard time you are subjected to is for a personality lapse in your boss and not a genuine correction of blunders.
2. Respond, not react -
In a situation where you feel your boss is behaving immaturely, take a sharper view and respond rationally, not impulsively. Try to ignore the smaller issues and focus on those things that impact you or your professional progress directly.
3. Communicate -
If a situation continues to deteriorate with time, it's a good idea to communicate your discomfort to your manager. It is important for him/her to know that you recognise a pattern and will not stand up for professional unfairness. Dig deeper to understand what emotions and feelings your boss is coming from before you swoop down to get even!
4. Involve others in your work -
If you are being seen as a danger to your supervisor's position, you should make sure that your work and ideas are known to peers / colleagues / subordinates. This way, it does not allow your manager to play foul and gives you alibis or witnesses to your efforts. Build allies so that you do not feel vulnerable and cannot let your superior position you poorly within the team.
5. Other mentors -
Don't rely on your boss being your sole mentor and coach. It is good to have mentors other than your boss, who can guide and help you strategically build your career in an organisation. The mentoring process can get diluted with an advisor playing havoc if he ceases to see you as a protégé and begins to view you as his competitor!
To begin with, the boss-subordinate relationship is a highly tested one. It is almost natural for managers to have negative illusions of their subordinate's intentions. However, when the work environment is made tougher because you are being seen as a risk to your boss' career, then it is better to start appropriately dealing with the differences.
Recently, a senior executive from a large corporation was pointing out the pains of working with a highly egoistic boss. She said, "Since I am performing well and have been noticed by other seniors, my direct boss seems to be threatened by me. He controls everything and doesn't part with pertinent information without difficulty. Nothing I do these days is right for him."
It gets harder to work with someone who is suspicious, distrustful, and difficult to please. Professional life can be made miserable by an insecure or self-absorbed superior.
In day-to-day functioning, it is stifling to be directed by a leader, who is easily threatened. Many CEOs complain about how lack of self-confidence in a supervisor ruins team spirit and erodes organisational culture, not to mention jeopardising productivity.
How many times have you felt that your bosses' weaknesses and gaps have directly impacted you? What manifestations of your supervisor's low self-confidence do you deal with regularly? Do the following ring a bell?
1. Continuous discouragement of your initiatives and very little appreciation of your work.
2. Year on year lame excuses for lack of promotion or low bonus.
3. Public mockery of your ideas, but private appreciation of your abilities.
4. Rejecting your input only to later represent them as his/her idea.
5. Constantly reminding you of your shortcomings and slip-ups.
6. Denying you of the more challenging assignments without giving you the benefit of doubt.
Of course, these are generalised stereotypes and every trait need not necessarily imply a boss lacking in self-esteem or considering you as a potential threat! There should be several other indications to conclude that your manager is sceptically watching you.
1. Diagnose, don't overread -
It is essential not to get carried away by a rebuke or debate and term it "conspiratorial". Make sure you detect whether the hard time you are subjected to is for a personality lapse in your boss and not a genuine correction of blunders.
2. Respond, not react -
In a situation where you feel your boss is behaving immaturely, take a sharper view and respond rationally, not impulsively. Try to ignore the smaller issues and focus on those things that impact you or your professional progress directly.
3. Communicate -
If a situation continues to deteriorate with time, it's a good idea to communicate your discomfort to your manager. It is important for him/her to know that you recognise a pattern and will not stand up for professional unfairness. Dig deeper to understand what emotions and feelings your boss is coming from before you swoop down to get even!
4. Involve others in your work -
If you are being seen as a danger to your supervisor's position, you should make sure that your work and ideas are known to peers / colleagues / subordinates. This way, it does not allow your manager to play foul and gives you alibis or witnesses to your efforts. Build allies so that you do not feel vulnerable and cannot let your superior position you poorly within the team.
5. Other mentors -
Don't rely on your boss being your sole mentor and coach. It is good to have mentors other than your boss, who can guide and help you strategically build your career in an organisation. The mentoring process can get diluted with an advisor playing havoc if he ceases to see you as a protégé and begins to view you as his competitor!
To begin with, the boss-subordinate relationship is a highly tested one. It is almost natural for managers to have negative illusions of their subordinate's intentions. However, when the work environment is made tougher because you are being seen as a risk to your boss' career, then it is better to start appropriately dealing with the differences.
4 comments:
Thank you, this is really helpful.
I do not have the ability to not respond back in an aggressive manner if someone disrespects me. I have however not responded immediately bit when I'm calm.
How do we upfront proof whether this person has been micro managing you and have made your work environment impossible...?
Let me clarify... I will not respond to a screaming match. But I will point out that I disapprove of your behavior I.e. I will address the matter instead of ignoring it for the sake of peace.
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